Tell us a little about yourselves.
We both grew up in Sydney, with Tyson from the northern beaches and Dave from the south-west. We had different childhoods, different career aspirations, and different coming-out stories but despite all that, we’re so similar in so many ways. We love theatre but especially musical theatre, we’re both homebodies at heart, we’re a little too into TV and film for our own good, could never live anywhere that wasn’t in the heart of a bustling city, but don’t like festivals or anywhere we’d have to camp with hundreds/thousands of others, we love to travel and have wanted a dog for so many years of our relationship. As of Feb 2022, we’re the proud dog parents of a beautiful, gentle and playful spoodle named Alfie.
How long have you been together, and how did you meet?
Dave- We met almost eleven years ago. We were both invited to the Beresford for drinks by mutual friends, and we both remember the moment we first saw each other. We each played it cool over the next couple of months as we started hanging out, just as friends, until one night at karaoke I noticed that Tyson was a little quieter than usual, so I casually asked Tyson out to dinner, offering the chance to talk about it. We met up a few nights later, talked for hours and it didn’t take long after that night for us to understand just how attracted we were to each other. We got together at a party at Tyson’s place and after that, became inseparable.
Tyson- Dave left out the part where he threw up in my backyard and I looked after him… true love.
Dave- I also left out the part where, after I threw up, I drunkenly sat on a box out in the backyard which collapsed because of the stagnant water inside it, and completely drenched me… then I think I cried in Tyson’s arms for a bit? God, I was a mess that night!
Tell us about the proposal.
Dave- We were living in London at the time and I had about three months between the time I’d decided to propose and our trip back home to Sydney, which was going to be our only chance to celebrate with friends and family for quite some time. I thought, what better way to propose than to mirror one of my most treasured memories – Tyson asking me to be his boyfriend at a picnic in Glebe park in 2013, by way of a handmade booklet.
One of the boutique hotels near St James Park had these fancy picnic packages available, so there it was – a beautiful picnic in St James Park and a handmade booklet of my own with all the things I loved about him, and that all-important question at the end. Desperately trying to work around the fact that I was planning a picnic for February in London, I picked a day that was meant to have decent weather and just went for it.
Of course, nothing quite went to plan – the picnic wasn’t set up as it was meant to be when we arrived, it was cold, it rained off and on, we ended up running indoors toward the end, but my best friend agreed to spend his life with me, so how could it not be one of the best days of my life?
Tyson: Dave organised a picnic in London, first he successfully misled me that we were meeting with a friend but when I saw the two smartly dressed hotel employees with a picnic in tow the jig was up. Dave was recreating when I first asked him to be my boyfriend with a handmade booklet about all the things I liked about him and a picnic in the park. February in London isn’t the most conducive to picnic weather but we still had a great time before a dash back to the hotel to escape the rain.
How long was your engagement?
5 years. When we got engaged in 2018 we were living in London so we wanted to wait until we moved back to Sydney, where both our families lived, before we got married. Of course, COVID hit, so we didn’t end up back in Sydney until the end of 2021, it took us about a year to get settled, and then at some point, we thought ‘We should probably start planning this thing’, then it took another year of planning before the big day.
What led you to the venue?
We were struck by the space when we first saw it, it had scale and charm, and a space for us to do our dance performance. You could do nothing to it and it still had beauty and a sense of elegance. It was large enough for our numbers while not being so large that it swallowed everyone. It was all indoors, so it wouldn’t matter what weather we had on the day. And it was above, and catered by, a well-reviewed restaurant with delicious food. Compared with a lot of other spaces we saw, this one seemed like a no-brainer.
What was the inspiration behind the theme of your wedding and why did you go with that?
OH THE THEME, we flip-flopped so many times. We basically wanted to encapsulate the do it your way/break from tradition idea. In the end, our overall theme was “steal the show”. Our other main focus was that people could come in something they had always wanted to wear, an excuse to go all out without the usual restrictions that come with wedding attire. We told people there was no bride so feel free to wear all white. We put together an online lookbook for our guests to guide them a bit and mainly just give them permission to let go a little (while still keeping it FASHUN darling).
Our other main focus was the flow of the evening, having a cocktail-style wedding was a key consideration to allow people to talk and move around the room while keeping formalities to a minimum. We wanted to fast forward as soon as possible to a packed dance floor. We managed a pretty good non-stop 3-hour dance floor so I would consider it a success.
Talk to us about your experience finding the perfect outfits.
Tyson- For me, my outfit was a major focus from the early days of planning, I love any excuse for an over-the-top look. After many weeks of searching I couldn’t find anything online that encapsulated the look I was hoping for, using my background in Film VFX I turned to AI to aide the design and finally settled on this:
The next major challenge was finding someone who could make it. After many confused responses from traditional tailors, I was recommended the fabulous Nicol & Ford, a design duo based in Newtown. They embraced the idea straight away but more importantly, made it such a lovely process. They exuded queer joy and really helped translate my concept into a reality while bringing some of their elevated aesthetic to the final product. From a practical side, they were able to make the sleeve trains detachable while incorporating it into the design. To finish the look they sourced the custom leather bow tie and belt from their regular collaborator JRH Leathergoods. My final hurdle to overcome was shoes! As someone with size 15 feet, options are very, very limited. In the end, I sourced some leather paint and custom-matched the colour to my outfit. Had I ever painted shoes before? …NO, but don’t let that stop you!
Dave- For me, I had no idea what I wanted to wear for the longest time. Tyson had his vision, and all I really wanted was to make sure that we felt like our outfits were in the same world. I didn’t just want a suit though, I knew I wanted to lean into the freedom we had as queer men to play with what these outfits could be. At one point I had grand ideas about a Billy Porter-esque tux-gown kinda thing, but without a clear vision as to how it would be uniquely mine, that idea felt a little tricky to execute on our budget haha. In the end, Tyson found Woolcott St Tailors, and we went in for a consultation. Oscar, who conducted our consultation, was great at taking us through our options and I found this beautiful green material that I thought would make for a great base suit. Oscar also showed the patience of a saint as I went in for three fittings just to get the bespoke suit the way I wanted it. And while it was a beautiful suit, it wasn’t quite in the same world as Tyson’s outfit. So one day, about 2-3 months out from the big day, we were at a fitting for Tyson’s outfit and I asked Katie and Lil (Nicol & Ford) if they had any ideas for something that could go with my suit. In true them style, they pulled out this beautiful cape that they just happened to have on hand; it was structured so it sat easily on the shoulders without having to be fastened, it had flow to it, and it had slits on the side for my arms to go through when needed. Honestly, it was perfect, and we found a fabric that tied my dark green suit in with Tyson’s beautiful gold and white fabric and it just completely tied it all together. I found these stunning shoes with a floral motif from the UK, and a gorgeous feather bow tie to round it all out.
Talk to us about the big day! We want all the details.
We got ready together and took our photos before the ceremony. We were then able to meet the wedding party and our parents beforehand, have some extra photos and head to a nearby bar for a quick rest before the big moment. Everyone was seated and suddenly it was very real. We weren’t prepared for the energy in the room, everyone cheering our arrival and there to celebrate us. Our celebrant did a perfect job of capturing us as a couple, our dog Alfie brought the rings down the aisle without incident and then it was official!
After the ceremony, we had a moment to see our guests and bask in the post-wedding glow. From there the embarrassing speeches were kept to a minimum, and our dance routine/musical number went off without a hitch… well maybe we missed a few moves along the way, but with six professional backup dancers, no one really noticed. With the formalities over we had the rest of the evening to dance the night away…The after-party ended up on Oxford st and we will choose not to comment on what time we made it back to the hotel.
What are your favourite moments?
Tyson- The energy just before walking down the aisle, the absolute cheer of all these people you love beaming back at you, it sounds obvious but it was something I didn’t expect.
Dave- There are two moments that I’ll always cherish from that night, one was hearing Tyson’s vows for the first time and just feeling so grateful for this man standing in front of me, and then flash forward to the end of the night where our DJ played ‘Seasons of Love’ from RENT, and everyone (including those that hadn’t been on the dancefloor until that point) gathered round and we all belted out that song at the top of our lungs. It was magic.
Do you have a standout vendor?
Our photographers!! We interviewed 7 different photographers for our big day, Fiona and Bobby were the first we spoke to, we were instantly drawn to their amazing style but most of all them as people, besides your partner they are the people you spend most of your time with on the day. It’s important for them to bring the right energy to the day. We’ve had countless compliments on our photos since the big day, many of our friends who have been married wish they could have had them for their own wedding!
We also have to sing the praises of our celebrant Lauren, again we received so many compliments of how she struck the perfect balance between being heartfelt/sincere and funny/fun/upbeat. Not to mention she was a hoot to catch up with before the wedding! We met up a few times and each time it felt like we were chatting with an old friend.
Did you incorporate any family or religious traditions into the day, if yes, what were they?
We enjoyed the “freedom” of a queer wedding where we didn’t feel bound by traditions. Some we did away with, and some we kept but made our own. We both made an entrance down the aisle and had our mothers walk beside us down the aisle. Our dads each gave a short speech at the reception. Our siblings were part of our wedding party. Our ‘cake’ was actually a caramel slice made from a recipe handed down to Tyson from his grandmother, who is no longer with us. We enjoyed finding little ways to honour the people who make us, us. But we never felt compelled to keep a tradition just because ‘everyone else does it’.
What does marriage mean to you?
Dave- By the time we got married, we had already been together for 10 years. Because of that, getting married almost felt a little unnecessary, only in the sense that it didn’t change the way we felt about each other or how we were together. We would spend our lives in each other’s arms, whether our wedding night happened or not. But for me, it did two things: 1. It allowed us to share a night with the people who had supported us throughout our relationship and express how much they mean to us and how much we mean to each other. And 2. It gave me the option to take Tyson’s last name, which I did. I love that we have the same last name now, it really makes us feel like a family unit.
Advice for other couples planning a wedding?
Tyson- ELOPE. Haha. You can never start too early and try not to be distracted by Pinterest and all the little extras, no one is going to judge you for not having the world’s most expensive flowers, and most of the time people won’t notice. Focus on a space you are happy with, good food, and the people you want to attend…. oh and maybe the outfit because that is the fun part….
Dave- I really struggled with who to have on the guest list and how to keep our guest list to numbers we could afford. In the end, I read an article that outlined a good process for helping you decide in a way that was practical and took some of the emotion out of the decision. It was basically a point system you evaluated each guest against, and it had a short list of questions like ‘Is this person family?’, ‘Have you seen this person in the last two years?’, ‘Have you seen this person in the last 6 months?’ and ‘Have both you and your partner met this person?’ etc. You didn’t necessarily need to stick to the outcomes of those points but it gave you a much better idea of why you want those people beside you on your big day.
Anything you are glad you did? Or wish you didn’t do?
Glad we:
- Decided to have our reception Cocktail style. It gave our guests room to move around, meet new people, and not feel too stuck, and without having to fit giant dining tables in the space, it gave us room for more people than a sit-down reception would’ve and room for a proper dance floor. Our guests commented how much they enjoyed that concept over a traditional sit-down.
- Took our photos before the ceremony. Our wedding and reception were both at the same venue so by doing our photos beforehand, we could flow easily from the wedding, into the foyer where they had drinks waiting for us while the seats we were all just in got packed away quickly and turned into our reception space. It made for such a nice flow, with no waiting for hours in between the ceremony and reception.
Wish we didn’t:
- Leave our speeches to the night before. The couple of months leading up to the wedding felt like a never-ending list of things we had to check off, but honestly writing our thank you speech in our hotel room the night before felt like something we could’ve easily avoided and definitely made for a last-minute stress.
Lastly, is there anything else you’d like to share with us?
Invest the time in finding the right vendors for your wedding, it takes so much research to commit and there might be various reasons your ideal pick doesn’t work out due to cost or date availability, but don’t settle. Push to find the right people for you as it can make or break your day. We were lucky enough to find the right people and it definitely made our wedding!
Photography by Fiona and Bobby
Cake Little Pudding
Cape Nicol & Ford
Celebrant Lauren McLean
Entertainment DJ Sparkle
Florist & Stylist Vintage Patina
H&MU Pratistha Saakha
Lighting / Sound Hire QCE
Online Wishing Well Hitchd
Suit Designers Nicol & Ford, Woolcott St
Tie / Bow tie JRH leathergoods
Venue Beta Events
Wedding Rings The Wooden Circle Co.
Wedding Website Wedsites
