How long have you been together, and how did you meet?
Back in October 2019, Jess was working on putting together a Trans Awareness Week panel event as part of her LGBTQ+ Network duties in her place of work at the time. She was looking specifically for a non-binary panelist who worked in the same industry and would be able to share opinions on the topic of discussion. Someone in passing mentioned that they’d been to a talk and seen Paddy Paddison speaking on a similar topic. Jess received Paddy’s details, and they chatted via email. Paddy was onboard, so Jess asked for a headshot to put on the event posters. The headshot came through, and if Jess’ eyes could turn into big cartoon hearts, they would’ve. A few days later, they chatted on the phone to ensure Paddy would feel comfortable discussing the topic. Jess mostly stayed quiet and listened in, but hearing Paddy talk so effortlessly and passionately about trans inclusion (a topic close to Jess’ heart) made her crush – hard.
Unfortunately, Jess was unable to attend the panel event, and the two never ended up meeting. Fast forward a few months to early 2020, and Jess was mindlessly swiping through Tinder only to see a familiar face – Paddy Paddison. She dropped them a message. A few days later, they were going on their first date. That was early March 2020.
Tell us about the proposal.
For Jess’s 30th birthday, Paddy created an amazing DIY game of Deal or No Deal. Within each red envelope stuck on their living room wall, numbered 1 to 30, was a different location that Paddy would take Jess to for her gift. Jess picked 16 (her birthday), and they whittled through the envelopes, allowing Jess to sometimes make a deal and swap or stick with 16. Jess stuck to 16, and it turned out to be Mexico! They booked the trip for the following May. On the 4th of May, after being in Mexico for a few days, Paddy suggested that before heading out to dinner that night, they could get dressed up and take some photos on the beach. Jess loved the idea and they headed down to the beach at sunset. Paddy set the phone up to record and caught the whole thing on camera. Jess had absolutely no idea it was coming! Paddy had been planning it for months and had designed a custom pink engagement ring with Anpé Atelier.
Are any stories from the lead-up to the wedding stressful or funny?
We planned the whole thing ourselves, which we were really proud of. We’re both do-ers and great at project management, so it was mostly stress-free.
However, we found out only weeks before the wedding that a section of the ceremony required gendered language to be read to the whole room. This was pretty heartbreaking for us as in the UK, there are no gender-neutral options for this specific section of the script (which is what makes the wedding ceremony legal). We discussed our options and even debated cancelling – it was a very stressful week! That was until we were assigned our registrar who conducted our ceremony (Lynn), who really went out of her way to find a way to make sure we could go ahead with a legal ceremony in a way where we didn’t have to use gendered language for Paddy. We were so lucky we had Lynn – we loved her!
What led you to the venue?
Funnily enough, the wedding venue was one of the first things we discussed in the pool in Mexico the day after we got engaged. And we both really wanted to get married at Hackney Town Hall without even knowing the other did! We loved the big steps out the front and the palm trees. And since we met and lived together in Hackney, it felt right!
Talk to us about your experience finding the perfect outfits.
Jess was really nervous about dress shopping. Having had a bad relationship with her body in the past, she was worried it might be triggering to go shopping for her wedding dress. Especially as there is so much pressure on it being this lovely, fantastic experience. But Sara at Morgan Davies was incredible. She was very sensitive to Jess’ worries and created a safe space for her. Because Jess first looked for a dress almost a year before our wedding date, it took the pressure off finding the perfect dress straight away. So we had some fun and just picked a bunch of different dresses. When it came to trying them on, Jess picked one and fell in love instantly. But being the first one, she thought it might just have been seeing herself in a wedding dress, not the dress itself. She tried on many more dresses, and while she liked some, none compared to the first one. She put it back on and knew it was the one.
Paddy’s suit-shopping experience was a bit different. Shopping for suits when you are non-binary can be incredibly daunting. They tried a few suits in other shops with their Best Person, but the combination of the pressure and styles just made them dislike them all. They wanted to be able to try options on in the comfort of our flat. So they ordered some options through ASOS and found one they loved. They then made some minor alterations to the jacket so it fit perfectly.
Talk to us about the big day! We want all the details.
Our colourful and modern East London wedding was the stuff of our dreams. After a summer of torrential rain in London, the sun came out for us, and we couldn’t have been happier! We married at Hackney Town Hall – a space we’d both dreamt of getting married at long before we’d even met. Then we whizzed off in a gorgeous red mustang to Victoria Park – the scene of our first date (even managing to capture a beautiful kiss photo at the exact spot of our first kiss all those years ago). We spent the remainder of the evening throwing some incredible shapes with friends and family. The day was filled with so much love strangers, and suppliers could feel it! Many tears of joy were shed, and we had the best day they could’ve hoped for!
What are your favorite moments?
Jess-
- Having both my parents walk me down the aisle.
- Walking down the aisle and hearing an audible gasp from the room.
- Entering our reception venue to a room filled with massive cheers and the song ‘I Feel Love’ by Donna Summer.
- Finishing our first dance to ‘Thinking of You’ by Sister Sledge and having everyone join in for ‘Freedom’ by George Michael – the whole room was crammed with people singing and dancing. It was incredible!
- My dad’s speech – not a dry eye in the place!
Paddy-
- Seeing Jess coming down the aisle – she looked incredible.
- Having a drink at my local with my best mates and dad before the ceremony.
- The Tacos!
- Dancing with all my family and chosen family.
- Being driven around in a vintage Mustang convertible was pretty cool.
What does marriage mean to you?
Jess- Marriage to me means partnership and family. Paddy is 100% my partner in everything I do. They are my best friend, confidant, and voice of reason AND incredibly sexy. Absolute win.
Paddy- Marriage is creating a family unit with someone. Jess is the only person on the planet I want to build a family with and declare my love for in front of everybody I know. It’s easy when it’s with her.
Advice for other couples planning a wedding?
Try to find the fun in bits where you can – go for wine tasting (even if you know you’re going to get the cheapest option), try on outfits you didn’t think you’d ever wear, taste cakes, think of the fun things you’d love to have and even if you can’t have them all you might find a way of making some work.
Do what makes YOU happy. Not everyone is going to love every aspect of your wedding, but that’s okay – it’s your wedding, not theirs. And there will be aspects of other people’s weddings that you don’t enjoy either. It’s totally natural. Ultimately, if you’re happy, that’s all that matters.
Spreadsheets are your best friend. Make more time for things on the day if you can. Things will always feel crunched as they’re happening. Having a few dedicated ‘more chill’ moments will help you stop and take everything in with your partner.
Photography by Charlie Britz Photography
Second Photographer Sophie Askew
Cake Where I Keep My Cakes
Catering Pink Cactus
Ceremony Venue Hackney Town Hall (Atrium)
Decorative Elements Streamadelica
Desserts Krispy Kreme
Engagement Rings Anpe Atelier Copenhagen
Florist Honey Bunch
Gown Boutique & Alterations Morgan Davies Bridal, Studio 62 Workroom
H&MU Chloe GH Bridal
Reception Venue Filly Brook
Robes / Getting Ready Tees Chelsea Peers
Shoes Nike
Suit Designer ASOS
Transport Brian Jones Coaches, Ford Mustang Wedding
Wedding Rings Metal Crumble, Laser Engraving Service
