A Queer Wedding with DIY Details, Moody Lighting, and a Fun-Filled Reception

February 10, 2025

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We have been together for just over eleven years now and we got married exactly two months before our eleven year anniversary.

We first me at our year seven high school orientation, back in November of 2007. We initially didn’t actually get along but we ran in the same friendship groups and through stereotypical teenage drama we actually ended up being best friends by year eleven. In the year 2013 when we were in year twelve we confessed our more than friendly feelings for each other and that was that.

Tell us about the proposal.

We went away for our five-year anniversary to Castlemaine, Ollie was planning to propose but didn’t have a solid plan as none of their ideas were working out. So we went out for a beautiful fancy dinner and while we were getting dressed into our PJs after, Ollie finally just asked to which Kendra immediately turned around to get out the ring they had bought and asked back.

Any stories from the lead-up to the wedding, stressful or funny?

There were definitely lots of stressful and exciting and exhausting and funny moments. We had a running joke with our maid of honour, Dayla and our Best Man of Honour, Zarah, that it was actually Ollie and Dayla’s wedding because they did so much of the actual organising since they’re both great at planning, and then also that Zarah was going to object at the wedding because she was actually in love with Kendra all along! Having such a close knit group of people by our sides definitely helped ease a lot of the stresses when they did happen. At separate times there was a possibility that the two bridesmaids may not be able to be in the wedding anymore, Ollie almost didn’t get their passport with their name change done in time to sign the wedding documents and all of the groomsmen had issues finding their suits with one of them being right up until three days before the wedding. But there were a lot of fun moments as well, especially our joint bachelor party where we went to an incredibly queer Shrek burlesque show.

What led you to the venue?

We always knew we wanted greenery and lots of mood lighting. Originally we were planning an outdoor wedding since it was an autumn date and so we were going to go up to the Dandenong Ranges which is stunning at that time of year but the cons were starting to outweigh the pros both for the destination and the idea of an outdoor wedding. We were a little lost for as we didn’t really know where to look anymore but when we actually started our planning journey, on a whim we literally googled ‘cheap wedding venues Melbourne’, and the beautiful Hall at Welcome to Brunswick popped up and we immediately fell in love. The exposed brickwork covered in ivy and fairy lights combined with the art deco feel of the bar space, the bright airiness of the front rooms and the neon lights in the alley were already hitting every single aesthetic vibe we were hoping to achieve. Paired with the incredible Asian fusion style food and lovely, helpful team we knew there was no other place that could ever compete.

Talk to us about the big day! We want all the details.

Because we had stayed together with our entire wedding party at a rental house the night before the wedding, we were all able to get up and get ready together. Ollie’s sister, Rachael, came over to help do hair and make-up for everyone who wanted it and we got bagels and coffee and were able to just hang out for a few hours. When it was time to get dressed, Ollie and the groomsmen stayed downstairs and Kendra and the bridesmaids went upstairs. Dayla, our Maid of Honour, took all our morning and getting ready photos and we had our first look and did our vows on the stairs, just like Kendra had always pictured. We then got picked up in a vintage Cadillac that was organised for us by Kendra’s brother Stephen and taken to the Fitzroy Gardens to start our portrait and group photos with Lysh. After that, our wedding party and parents went to the venue to set up while we took more photos.

Our ceremony started at four pm with around 60 guests and was ordained by the incredible Renee Thompson (who was also our DJ later in the night). It was perfectly short and sweet and gay and we took shots after we signed our marriage certificate. After some more photos, we re-entered ‘Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now’ by Starship and immediately went into our first dance. We chose to have a cocktail-style reception as we knew a sit-down dinner wouldn’t work for us and it was perfect as people were able to move between some seats and the dance floor and other activities like the photo booth, freely the whole night.

After some food and drinks and dancing we did our speeches (where the wedding party surprised us with a Cameo from Peter Facinelli aka Carlisle Cullen from Twilight) and cake and proceeded to dance and party and laugh the night away with everyone we love. After all the guests left we had a final chance for just the two of us to ‘Wasteland, Baby’ by Hozier.

What are your favorite moments?

One of the most special moments happened the night before when we were giving our wedding party their gifts, and they actually ended up gifting us with a gorgeous scrapbook full of pictures and letters from each of them and from our parents and siblings too, we sobbed the whole time and felt so very loved in that moment. On the actual day, we definitely agree that our first look and vows was the most perfectly romantic moment, it really felt straight out of a movie. The whole ceremony was beautiful but Renee’s acknowledgment of all the queer people who paved the way for us to be able to get married was very important to us as well as the poetry readings our parents did.

During the reception, there was a moment where the dance floor was a little quieter until the opening bars of Chappell Roan’s ‘HOT TO GO!’ came on and suddenly every young queer person we know was on the dance floor with us doing the dance and it was hilarious and so much fun. And of course, having that little moment to ourselves at the end of the night to just dance together and let it all sink in was the best possible way we could’ve ended everything.

Do you have a standout vendor?

We adored all our vendors, they were all incredible but we really have to give it up for Renee our Celebrant, MC and DJ. There was an instant connection and we had so much in common with her and felt we would truly be friends well after the wedding. The sheer amount of work she undertook for us especially for a midweek wedding and her understanding and adaptability to last-minute changes and our fussiness over our music was amazing as well as the way she was there to help us with any issues we might’ve had prior to the actual day, especially around Ollie’s name change and her knowledge of all things weddings. She was so much more than we were expecting and our day could not have gone the way it did without her.

Did you incorporate any family or religious traditions into the day, if yes, what were they?

We didn’t have any traditions, and we’re not religious. There was a silly little thing that my uncle does at weddings by standing up in the back of the group photo, he did it for my parents and did it for me too. We chose not to do our personal vows during the ceremony and did them at our first look surrounded by our wedding party instead as we wanted to keep it just for us. We also had both our parents walk us both down the aisle as we believed there was no reason why Ollie couldn’t also have a special entrance and also because we wanted both our parents to have that moment with us and that acknowledgment.

What does marriage mean to you?

I think marriage means finding that one person who truly gets you and loves you for you, it’s spending every day with your best friend. Through tough times, they’re always going to be my safety net, my home. It means we’ve committed to always trying, to not give up on ourselves or each other.

Advice for other couples planning a wedding?

Don’t be afraid to start as early as possible. Our whole process took close to eighteen months, not to mention the years of just talking about it and throwing ideas around long before a date was set. Make sure you aren’t doing *everything* yourselves, even if it is a largely DIY wedding. However, no matter how much help you have and how well you delegate, be prepared that you can and likely will still have some burnout so make sure you have ways to manage that and support each other throughout. For instance, make sure you dedicate time to hanging out and not talking about wedding stuff at all. And the big thing that we had to remember is that nothing is ever going to be perfect and that is ok. Something will inevitably go wrong, but at the end of the day, the important part of all of this is that you are together, getting married and celebrating your incredible love.

Anything you are glad you did? Or wish you didn’t do?

We are so so glad we chose to get ready together and with the whole wedding party, it really took a lot of pressure off of everything by being able to actually spend the whole day together plus being able to essentially just have a little getting ready party in the morning was perfect. We are also glad we didn’t take anything too seriously or go too sappy with the romance and just had fun with things throughout the day. We’re just not those kind of people so trying to fake that super formal and traditional wasn’t something that would’ve happened successfully. Ollie wishes they had been able to delegate with planning stuff a little more and they hadn’t gotten so caught up on the fine details because a couple of things did distract them on the day when it wasn’t perfect. We also wish we had given ourselves a bit more time for things and hadn’t cut so many corners because we were regrettably a bit rushed for a few aspects of the day.