Non-Binary disabled couples gorgeous outside inclusive wedding in Kentucky USA

Fern & Xander- A Queer, Sober Wedding Day


You can read more about Fern & Xander’s love story here.

Fern: After six years of dating, we got married, and now we are expecting our first child! Xander is a transmasculine nonbinary person, and Fern is a queer woman. We met at a queer bar many years ago, fell in love, and immediately traveled the country together. I am a disabled teacher who has been relearning about her life path with the loving support of my love Xander, a movement teacher. We have grown and changed so much together and are so grateful to have spent this beautiful day with loved ones, expressing our love.


What was the inspiration behind the vibe of your wedding?

We are super outdoorsy/natural people. We were inspired by Mother Nature, from stars to flowers to wood to colors. It’s just very us.


Talk to us about finding your wedding day outfits

I went to Rebecca’s Weddings, a local boutique. My consultant got to know me and very quickly chose my perfect dress. For Xander, it was a lot of trial and error. Sizing in suits isn’t very inclusive. Luckily we found a maker on Etsy who did custom sizes for everyone’s jackets and vests! 


Talk to us about the big day! We want all the details. 

I got walked down by my dad, stepdad, and my mom. That was important to me.

Xander walked alone.

We had a dear friend, Adriena, as our officiant, and she made it for us. Xander’s vows were unexpectedly hilarious and moving and we did a handfasting ceremony. Then, we all danced out to Silly Love Songs by The Wings. The rest of the night was lots of dancing and love. We couldn’t stop dancing, even during our couple’s photos later. 


Advice for other couples planning a wedding?

The biggest thing I wish I had taken is just to relax and let it go. It’s ultimately just about your love. 

We are also so glad we had a sober wedding. We are both sober, and weddings can be uncomfortable for us. We were worried some folks would be upset, or there wouldn’t be dancing, but we all danced the night away, and everyone had so much fun. 

We also had pride and trans flags for guests as we left the ceremony. I loved seeing children and adults play with them or wear them all night.

So many people made our day incredible. Xander said, “I wish we could do this every weekend,” because to be surrounded by that much love was such a gift. 

Photography by Anchored Roots Photography

 Decorative Elements Roslynka
Desserts Flora Kitchenette
Engagement Rings Lackadazee
Florist Sarah Rae Designs
Gown Boutique Willowby by Watters
Mocktails Jennifer Brian Events
Officiant Adriena Z Dame
Pin Rockoladesign
Shoes Little L
Suit Designer Dress Culture
Wedding Party Outfits Dress Culture, Azazie
Wedding Rings Kasyanenko